BlooPlace – IT Blog

October 13th, 2011

Chalga explained

Non IT, by admin.

A definite must-read for everyone who wish to know a bit more about Bulgaria – its music, culture and… cancer.

This is a very deep explanation of the Bulgarian music syndrome called Chalga, featuring the silicone abusing porn actresses singers such as Azis, Katy, Rado the Pinecone, Andrea and also the evil ruler of them all – Mityo Paynera. Also an explanation of the Mutri.
A Bulgarian translation of the main article can be found here [click]

What may look like a melon salesman and his bi*ch is actually an advert for a drink called Mastica. It goes really well with watermelon in the summer…

Just The Facts

  1. Chalga isn’t melon selling music. Although in its very basic essence (sex), it could sell everything.
  2. Chalga is the reason for the lack of porn industry in Bulgaria – and that’s why we are so poor.
  3. Azis. More on that later…
  4. 20 000 views, baby! Whoa, where are my internet-money?

Rado became a most popular bard of this new age. He ignited the rise of the “Mutra-folk”, a new brand of chalga which featured a more sophisticated approach to melody (old analogue, cheezy-sounding synths were used to rip-off our neighbours, instead of a dusty tape deck’s Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V buttons) and emblematic lyrics such as:

Whores, goodbye !

No more jeeps, jets

No more companions, bars

There won’t be such wild parties..

or a personal favorite from ’93, called “Tigre, tigre” (“Tiger, tiger”)

Ooh, tiger, tiger !

Do you have cash ?

If you have cash

(There will be) Dumb women!

If you don’t have cash

(There will be) Old grannies!

Come on, wrestlers*, give me cash!

Somewhere along the way though, emancipation striked our peaceful planet (again), and this reflected on our nr. 1 musical export in such a way that now women could sing about women being whores too!


Video dates from around 1998 and depicts once-famous chalga singer who can’t sing for life Katy musically embodying her desires of, well, being a slut. Chorus goes like (in plain English):

I will let you catch me

And I will sin with you

But remember that a butterfly

Will remain in my soul

Butterflies. They wear bright colors, and fly from flower to flower to pollinate. Pollinate. Think you have ever done something that may resemble a butterfly pollinating in some way? Doubt it, we people are so ugly.

More info? Who cares. Boobs! <3

(This video has around 20 million views… holy ****)

I didn’t wish to rip-off the entire article, since I’m not the actual creator, so click here to continue reading.

Back Top

Leave a Reply